How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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