we have pet lesbian snakes
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
