did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
