can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
