I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you win again, gameday.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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