talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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