just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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