Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
