somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
my liver is dry heaving
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
