Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
