all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
