I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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