he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
