I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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