Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We left an ass print on the piano.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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