Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize