Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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