then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
