Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He better not be in your backpack
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
