I wish I only lived at night.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Four minutes until I can fart!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
