i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
