This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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