Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Alive.
So much puke
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
