we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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