my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
