I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
