There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
