what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
