I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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