Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
