I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
