butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
