I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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