True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
