There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
