I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
