guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
last night I used snow as a chaser
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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