Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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