Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
