no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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