I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
NoShamevember. You game?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
