the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
