4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it glows. i had to have it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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