she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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