he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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