I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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