He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
