Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
