I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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