nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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