Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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